Back when I was in High School I would walk down the halls and I would look at all the girls that would pass me. I would think to myself about how beautiful they looked, how happy they seemed and how successful they were in their sports, talents, school and life. Then as I would pass a window or mirror or display case I would look at my own reflection and wonder if I could ever become someone that others would notice as stunningly gorgeous (or even pretty would have worked for me), someone who seemed to easily get good grades and could fall into conversation with nearly everyone. I never saw myself for what I was worth. In my church callings I tried to always go above and beyond. When I was president I tried to do everything to make everyone else's callings easier, when planning young women event I would go all out on the desserts and try to make the room look as spectacular as possible. Even with the compliments of others I still never saw my work good enough. Junior year I won first place in the city art contest, Senior year I won third in regional's and fifth in state for baking at a Skills USA contest- yet I never saw these accomplishments as good enough.

     Sometimes we are so afraid of becoming prideful or boastful so we allow Satan to convince us that what we have done and accomplished is simply not good enough. He has convinced us that there is always someone that could have done it better, or faster or that we didn't put our best efforts in. I know that I fall into this all the time, I dont want to admit that I did a good job. It's so hard for me to see the good that I do; when people come up to me and give me compliments my first reaction is usually one of two things: 
1) I try to reflect it off and say that its really not true
2) I say thank you and then quickly change the subject
Fact of the matter is I dont allow myself to grow and become better. 

     When I was staying in the hospital one of the nurses complimented my hair one day. Not even thinking I kind of brushed it off and said something along the lines of "Oh its really nothing," She sat me down and told me how detrimental it is when I do that. She explained to me that when I tell everyone else that what I do is really nothing great and it could be better then I start to believe that and then I dont believe in myself and become great discouraged with everything that I do. She challenged me to just smile and say thank you when someone complimented me on something, then later that day repeat that compliment in my head. At first I thought that this was stupid and I really didn't want to try it..... and honestly I didn't do this for a few months. But then one day when I was struggling with my self worth I was laying in bed late at night silently crying to myself. Then I remembered that a girl in one of my classes told me that she really liked my outfit that day. Remarkably my tears stopped and I felt like maybe I could make it through that night. 

     I have a testimony that women have great worth and that they make an amazing difference, but I know from experience that it is hard to include yourself in this realization. I would like to challenge you to look at yourself the way that others see you, to take to heart the compliments that they give you (because honestly no one gives a compliment just because they feel bad for you, they give them because they are true and they mean them) and eventually believe in yourself. If you dont see yourself the way others do then maybe you are standing in the wrong light. I promise you that in Christ's eternal light you are an extraordinary woman, I believe in you and I know that you are beautiful just they way you are because you were created by a perfect God who does not make mistakes. 
11/16/2012 01:11:06

Kayla, I loved your post! You've done a great job describing what women of all ages struggle with throughout their lives. Your solution is a perfect one. Kudos to a young woman who radiates joy, love and beauty...even during the tougher times. Love, Kirby


Leave a Reply.

    Kayla Morrill

    I am so glad that you are visiting my blog!!!! I have created this blog in hopes to uplift women from all backgrounds and remind you that you are a daughter of a Heavenly King, you have a divine heritage and you have the potential to do many marvelous things in this life as well as the life to come.. I believe in the worth of women and I want all women to embrace life and recognize the blessing that they are.

    I love you all so very much!!!


    November 2012
    October 2012