- Recall the hurt..... Too often we try to deny or forget the pain of the offense and avoid the discomfort associated with addressing that offense in an interpersonal relationship. In order to forgive, we have to be clear about the wrongdoing and acknowledge the injury.
- Emphathize......this involves borrowing the lens of another person so we see something from their point of view. In order to forgive, it is important to understand the transgressor's feelings.
3. Offer the altruistic gift of forgiveness..... (altruism: the principle or practice of unselfish concern for or devotion to the welfare of others) Forgiving with altruism is easier when the victim is humbled by an awareness of his or her own shortcomings and offenses, with special gratitude for those occasions when he or she was freely forgiven.
4. Commit publicly to forgive....... The victim has a better chance of successful forgiveness if he or she verbalizes the forgiveness commitment to another person (for example, telling a friend or counselor about the decision).
5. Hold on to forgiveness.....
( Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and research Perspectives- Chapter 20)
Life is full of hardships and sorrows and we all make mistakes along our journey of life..... we all do. But how detrimental would it be to our eternal progression if we never forgave or were forgiven? When I think back to times when I would hold a grudge against my brother for all the little things he did to me, I wasn't moving forward. At most I was standing still but usually I was moving backwards. But as soon as I allowed myself to forgive him it strengthened our relationship and we were both able to move on with our lives.
As women and mothers we have the amazing ability to be empathetic and loving towards those around us. We can sit down and listen to a sad story and genuinely care, we generally know what to do and if not we are usually creative enough to come up with something that could help the situation. We can look at someone and know that they are having a hard day even through the laughter and the smiles. We can look into someones eyes and know that they are breaking on the inside and in turn we hurt for them. We also have this amazing ability to look past the mistakes and forgive one after a mistake.
I saw this quote the other day on LDS.org: "Knowing how imperfect we are, surely we can extend healing forgiveness to those we love. Jesus said, “I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men” (D&C 64:10). Comfort and sweet peace will live in our homes when we forgive each other freely."
I love this quote! I know that I know just how imperfect I am and I know that I make mistakes each and everyday . I strive to forgive myself, I know that in time the Lord will forgive me and I can only hope that others will forgive me for my mistakes. Keeping all this in mind helps me to turn around and forgive others. I challenge you to not hold grudges to forgive and love. And if this is hard I promise you that if you turn to the Lord in honest prayer he will grant you the Love of Christ and in time you will find it easier to forgive.