You know when you are walking through the park and you see that cute old couple sitting on a bench, his arm is around her, they are smiling and talking, or what about that cute couple that sits on their front porch together watching the sunset. Or the ones that will still walk through town hand in hand and steal a kiss every once in a while when they think no one is looking. I love seeing couples like this, the ones that you know have pushed through all the long nights of crying babies, and the hardships of life and still came out just as happy as the day they were married. I always think to myself that I hope I will be a cute old couple like that when I grow up and I am almost positive that I am not the only one. I think we all at times look up to those older couples and wish that we will end up as lucky as they are.
This is a picture of my boyfriends Grandparents- I love how cute they are in this picture :)
A love like that doesnt just happen over night or at the snap of the fingers- It doesnt even work that way in the fairy tales. An everlasting love takes years of working together and dedication. Today is the day of the week I talk about fitness and how to stay healthy- but that doesnt necessarily mean working out and eating right and having a healthy mind set about yourself. That also means having healthy relationships which is what I want to focus on today.
When we are young we focus so much on dating, and a good part of dating involves talking and getting to know others. Eventually when the Lord lets both people know that the time is right they enter into a special kind of love and bond- and that's called marriage. (For some odd reason the line from The Princess Bride comes to mind "Mawwiage..... Mawwiage is what bwings us togeth-uh today....) But why does the talking and the getting to know each other and the cute cute dating have to stop there? As humans we are constantly changing and it's important to make sure that you keep getting to know the person you are married to and remind yourself why you love eachother. So often I find that the couples that drift apart are the ones that didnt spend time together and they didnt talk.
Growing up, my room was always right next to my parents. In the wee hours of the morning and very very late into the night I could always hear them talking to one another about almost every subject there is on this planet to talk about and then some! Some of their favorite dates consist of grocery shopping together and deep cleaning the car at my dad's shop- because it allows them time to talk and remember why they were attracted to each other.
When we are young we focus so much on dating, and a good part of dating involves talking and getting to know others. Eventually when the Lord lets both people know that the time is right they enter into a special kind of love and bond- and that's called marriage. (For some odd reason the line from The Princess Bride comes to mind "Mawwiage..... Mawwiage is what bwings us togeth-uh today....) But why does the talking and the getting to know each other and the cute cute dating have to stop there? As humans we are constantly changing and it's important to make sure that you keep getting to know the person you are married to and remind yourself why you love eachother. So often I find that the couples that drift apart are the ones that didnt spend time together and they didnt talk.
Growing up, my room was always right next to my parents. In the wee hours of the morning and very very late into the night I could always hear them talking to one another about almost every subject there is on this planet to talk about and then some! Some of their favorite dates consist of grocery shopping together and deep cleaning the car at my dad's shop- because it allows them time to talk and remember why they were attracted to each other.
In my text book, Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives, Chapter 2 talks about the ABC's of dating and marriage, They go as follows:
A Awareness of or Acquaintance with another person
B Buildup of the relationship
C Continuation following Commitment to a log-term relationship
I believe strongly in the importance of continued dating after marriage, but I also believe that you dont always have to spend money on a date. Going out to dinner and to the movies are fun and you can create great memories and you share many laughs this way- but can you truly talk in these kinds of activities? Sometimes we under estimate the power of a simple walk through the park, or a night drive in December to go look at the neighborhood Christmas lights. Moments like these are times that can be shared together and opportunities to talk. My parents loved walking, hiking, biking and taking car rides together as they were dating, and they would go out for hours and just talk. Then when they started having kids they kept doing these kinds of activities and made them family events. Now as I am older and live away from home I am grateful for those opportunities because we were able to create memories and we have created bonds in which we can share anything to each other.
My parents made dating, family time and talking so important to all of us- that's step number 1- Awareness of or Acquaintance with another person. As a family we were always aware of what was happening with each other and we were always there for each other. Step 2- Buildup of the relationship. Not only would my parents go out to become re-acquainted with their feelings for each other but they also did that with us kids personally. Some of my most fondest memories as a kid are dipping french fries in vanilla shakes at McDonald's and going boating on Lake Washington with my dad on Daddy Daughter dates- or going birthday shopping and going out to lunch on Mommy Daughter dates. But then on a larger scale they would also take time to take day trips to the ocean and having picnics outside my dad's shop during my dad's lunch break. Step 3- Continuing. When kids are young many parents spend good quality time with their kids but tend to slowly grow apart as the years pass on. I am so thankful my parents didnt allow that to happen. They have been very much apart of my life- my entire life!!!!!! And as an addition my parents have never stopped loving each other the way they did when they were engaged- in fact they have only strengthened that love with the time that they dedicate to each other.
President Uchtdorf gave a talk a few years back in where he said that Love is really spelled T I M E. I challenge you to make time for those that really matter, forget all the electronics, the facebook posts, the errands, the politics, work, etc- and spend time with your husband, your children, your families. Remember that picture of the cute couple in the beginning? If you want an ever lasting relationship with your loved ones and you want to look as happy as they do when you are that age- then spend the time now getting to know them and enjoying every moment.
My parents made dating, family time and talking so important to all of us- that's step number 1- Awareness of or Acquaintance with another person. As a family we were always aware of what was happening with each other and we were always there for each other. Step 2- Buildup of the relationship. Not only would my parents go out to become re-acquainted with their feelings for each other but they also did that with us kids personally. Some of my most fondest memories as a kid are dipping french fries in vanilla shakes at McDonald's and going boating on Lake Washington with my dad on Daddy Daughter dates- or going birthday shopping and going out to lunch on Mommy Daughter dates. But then on a larger scale they would also take time to take day trips to the ocean and having picnics outside my dad's shop during my dad's lunch break. Step 3- Continuing. When kids are young many parents spend good quality time with their kids but tend to slowly grow apart as the years pass on. I am so thankful my parents didnt allow that to happen. They have been very much apart of my life- my entire life!!!!!! And as an addition my parents have never stopped loving each other the way they did when they were engaged- in fact they have only strengthened that love with the time that they dedicate to each other.
President Uchtdorf gave a talk a few years back in where he said that Love is really spelled T I M E. I challenge you to make time for those that really matter, forget all the electronics, the facebook posts, the errands, the politics, work, etc- and spend time with your husband, your children, your families. Remember that picture of the cute couple in the beginning? If you want an ever lasting relationship with your loved ones and you want to look as happy as they do when you are that age- then spend the time now getting to know them and enjoying every moment.
